Welcome to INTENTIONAL PARENTING!
After the challenges of birth and postpartum adjustments comes the even MESSIER part: the day-to-day challenge of guiding this little person from infancy to adulthood.
No matter what the age of your child, if you are here looking for
help or reassurance, I truly believe you will find just that;
I believe that you will be encouraged, and
that a flame of hope and joy in this,
pretty much your most important task in life, will be either ignited or reignited.
Let’s get going!
Parenting is a difficult task (did I just open with a dire understatement??). Most of us jump onto this path with little or no preparation and with an expectation that we can just
figure it out as we go.
Generally, figuring it out as we go works to a degree, but it’s not uncommon for us to often feel
overwhelmed with the minutia of day-to-day details.
Many of our relational interactions are ones that we might prefer to have done differently – usually with greater
patience, wisdom, and kindness.
There are many factors that contribute to these feelings and these are things that can definitely be identified and understood, both by themselves and within the context of who you are as a parent. I would love to show you how to look at yourself as a parent from a different perspective.
Being the parent that you want to be is so very much within your reach,
so do-able, and
I believe that right from the start,
you can make a significant difference almost immediately.
First, however, I want to encourage you with the news that not only do you not have to parent “on the fly” but you can develop amazing parenting skills, with competencies that are
on a day-to-day basis and,
in ways that are satisfying, enjoyable, and rewarding, for everyone.
I think and understand best in pictures, so for those of you who are similar here are two stories from my life.
I like all aspects of parenting: I am also a birth and postpartum doula supporting parents from the very start right through to learning how to best relate to these tiny, growing, and constantly changing little humans.
However, for a long time, I had little success in sharing my passion and here is why: my hue and cry was that I’m not very business-y, and so business development became my “weak link.” This weak link prevented me from jumping in to develop a business making a living doing what I love.
I tried several times, but the need to earn an income kept getting in the way, until, I began certifying with an organization that also provided business development information and support (Thanks bebo mia!), and I almost became as excited about the business aspect as working with parents. Almost. But, I still needed more so, I hired a business coach to lend her wisdom and hold my hand through the hard parts (Thanks Lianne Kim!!)
How does this apply to you?
I had tried to just doula and let the business fall into place by figuring things out “on the fly” – and it was not working. I even felt like a failure in the part that I like – journeying with parents into life with a new human being.
Now, with good coaching and pertinent information, I feel confident, strong, capable, and EXCITED!
With Intentional Parenting, you can identify your personal challenges and sticky points and learn how to manage them well:
YOU can feel confident, strong, capable, and EXCITED about how you parent!
Here is the second story.
I love to garden. I love it so much, that I often use gardening stories to simplify things that can feel murky. You don’t have to love gardening to understand the analogies, but the hard science of biology gives strength to the images and explanations of social and relational matters.
For example: If you want to grow daisies, plant daisy seeds, not corn. How simple is that?
If you want your child to listen to you, guess what? You have to listen to him. He learns more by observation and interaction than by instruction. Plant, or demonstrate, what you want to see your child doing; don’t assume that you can plant corn and still get daisies.
Here is another garden story: when I’ve planted new seeds, it FEELS so successful and I keep wanting to run outside to have another look. And guess what, it always looks just the same as 5 minutes ago. Surprise.
But that doesn’t mean that nothing is happening.
This is where patience and consistent care comes in.
Those hidden seeds need water and soil-warming sunshine to germinate and grow. Eventually, little green sprouts will poke up through the soil, and you will see that something amazing is taking place.
As humans, we are constantly (hopefully!) changing and growing, and the new good parenting practices that you will put into place may not feel immediately evident, but they will quietly take root and become a permanent of your life.
I am looking forward to sharing so much with you!
May Courage and Confidence be yours!